When we think marriage the first thing that comes to mind is a wedding. We get so excited and caught up with having a beautiful wedding that we forget why we are getting married.
Simple Definition of marriage
- : the relationship that exists between a husband and a wife
: a similar relationship between people of the same sex
: a ceremony in which two people are married to each other
Full Definition of marriage
1a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sexmarriage>b : the mutual relation of married persons : wedlockc : the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage
3: an intimate or close union <the marriage of painting and poetry — J. T. Shawcross>
First thing’s first, could we possibly remove the term “simple definition of marriage” because marriage is farrrr from simple.
Marriage is nothing like in the movies where you’ll have a happily ever after ending. Truth is that it’s probably not going to be happy most of the time. As a matter of fact, according to apa.org, 40-50 percent of marriages end in divorce. So what is the reason?
I have met many people who have gotten married because they felt as if they had no choice or as if they thought that marriage would miraculously solve all of their problems. Newsflash, it doesn’t. Marriage isn’t just a binding legal document. That’s just a piece of paper, you can shred it and get rid of it but your marriage will still stand.
I’ve only been married for about 6 months now and I know I’m no expert but I am able to recognize the significance of marriage.
Being married is about being devoted to one another first and foremost. Without devotion you’re guaranteed to have a failed marriage, same goes for relationships. People don’t put their all into making sure that they and their spouse are equally happy, that is the first mistake. Second mistake is that people continue to think that they are still single and that they need to look out for themselves before they look out for anyone else. Another newsflash bro, you and your spouse are now equally important.
I get that there are times where divorce is the only option. It may consist of an abusive partner (being abusive doesn’t just mean physically it also means mentally and/or emotionally) or infidelity. If you have exhausted all of your options and it’s still not working, maybe it isn’t meant to be.
As I mentioned before, I’m not a professional marriage counselor or a licensed psychologist but I am able to see what is right and wrong. I believe marriage should be a sacred unity of two people who truly love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. If you think marriage is the only way to mend your problems you’re wrong. Going into a marriage with the hopes of someone changing or that you’ll both magically be in love is the wrong option.
I am a strong believer in counseling services. Whether it’s pre-marital, marital, or divorce counseling, they are there to help.
Also, don’t get married because you believe it’s the best for your kids. I know you want to see your children live in a home with both birth parents as a form of security because who doesn’t want to raise their children together? But if you’re not fully committed and ready for a workable marriage, it’ll never work. If your children are being raised in a hostile environment with both parents together, there is no difference if they are being raised by a single parent (a happy single parent if I may add).
My old boss would always tell me that there are three times to be selfish in life, when choosing a job, picking your spouse, and making money. If you need to be selfish, do so.